alex chiang: web 6.0

An etsy posting from hemmingwayfun of a platypus USB drive.

You should buy this. And then give it to me.

Happy Friday! I’m off to the mountains for the weekend. Yay Colorado!

Hi loyal readers.

First off, let me thank you for reading my corner of the web every once in a while. I really appreciate the comments, both electronic and in person. Really, I do. It makes all the hours I spend writing worth it, every last one.

Recently, I had the stray thought pass through my mind that it would be fun to grow my readership by experimenting on you, dear readers.

So here’s the deal.

If you are a current or new subscriber, I’ll mail a 5×7 print of any of my photos (your choice) to anyone you want (again, your choice).

Got that? You don’t get a photo for yourself, but you get to give a free gift to whoever you want.

Limit three, thanks.

So take a look at my photos, pick one out, and send me an email telling me who you want me to mail it to. Obviously, I’ll need the recipient’s address too. If you want, you can include a little message to your recipient (that I’ll pass along) as to why you thought they would enjoy reading my blog, but that’s 100% optional.

Thanks again for your support.

Another great weekend in Gunnison, CO.

My talk was not as good as it could have been, but not as bad as it could have been either. Overall, it seemed to have gotten a good reception though, and audience participation was high, which is always gratifying as a speaker. I give myself a B+.

I spent Saturday skiing in Crested Butte with Jeremy (a fellow U of I alum) and Mike. I thought the conditions were kinda tough: flat light, lots of blowing snow, and due to personal stupidity on my part, I had marginal eyewear, making do with giant el cheapo over-the-glasses-sunglasses, which I called my Kim Jong Ills, since I’d forgotten to bring contact lenses along. Oops.

Still, it’s hard to have a bad day in the mountains, and that’s the truth.

On Sunday, John, Melissa, Katherine, and I went to Lake City (in Hinsdale County, one of the most remote places in the lower 48) to climb at their relatively new ice park.

I have to admit, after the first pitch, I had serious doubts if the sport was for me. Burning arms, battered knees, and a constant spray of ice chips in the face aren’t really my idea of a good time.

But the second time up was much more pleasant. Using a pair of lighter, leashless tools, and having a better idea of what to expect made all the difference in the world. I could see myself getting into this sport. Maybe. Probably the ice park version where you don’t have to wake up at 2am.

Happy president’s day!

[as always, photos are clickable to enlarge and see details]

From BizarroBlog, by Dan Piraro.

I missed last week’s platypus Friday due to the annual 10% ski trip, which this year, happened to be in Vermont.

And yes, at this point, you’re thinking the same thing that everyone else has already asked me in person: You live in Colorado but are going to Vermont to ski?

What can I say, I love my friends.

The skiing was mixed nuts, but as always, I learned some new stuff. Including the fact that it is possible for grown adults with many advanced degrees to sustain a 3 hour conversation on poop.

I accused Vyduna of trying to organize a mini foocamp; he thought I was mocking him (again) but really, it’s the reason to go on these trips. The amount of concentrated brainpower always astonishes me, both for the highbrow as well as the hijinks. Smart people are hilarious.

Today I’m in Gunnison, CO where my friend John Peterson allows me to come into his classroom and say whatever I want in front of impressionable undergraduates. As always, I’ve prepared a new talk, and as such, I’m a little unsure on how it’s gonna go. I’m hoping that the 25 Authority points gained by standing in front of a group can compensate for the 30 IQ points lost whenever standing in front of a group.

On the other hand, I brought two helmets for weekend activities, so I’ve got that going for me.

Happy Friday! quack!

Gallup do a huge disservice in their latest poll that states On Darwin’s Birthday, Only 4 in 10 Believe in Evolution.

Gallup’s use of the word “believe” is an irresponsible, Orwellian abuse of language. It insinuates that one can take sides, like a sporting event, for or against evolution, and that it is merely another choice of belief in the universe of many that one may choose to hold, like Santa Claus or the ability to multitask.

This poll adds to the nonsense pseudo-debate on how America teaches science to our youth. Or doesn’t, rather.

Religion is meant to be believed. Science is meant to be understood.

The correct wording of the poll should have read: “Only 4 in 10 Understand Evolution”.

Gallup are headline whores.

As part of my paleo diet experiment, I’ve also been taking a lot of fish oil pills. By “a lot” I mean 10g — that is, 10x 1000mg — pills per day. Of course, before I started, I did what any sane person does these days: pseudo-research on the internet, reading random websites and taking blind stabs at the truth.

The Mayo Clinc’s opinion on fish oil safety says:

Omega-3 fatty acids may increase the risk of bleeding, although there is little evidence of significant bleeding risk at lower doses. Very large intakes of fish oil/omega-3 fatty acids (”Eskimo” amounts) may increase the risk of hemorrhagic (bleeding) stroke. High doses have also been associated with nosebleed and blood in the urine. Fish oils appear to decrease platelet aggregation and prolong bleeding time, increase fibrinolysis (breaking down of blood clots), and may reduce von Willebrand factor.

I do believe we need to introduce the phrase “Eskimo amounts” into the popular lexicon. As in, “Brah, get thee to a clinic! Do you have any idea how many other people your hookup from last night [man-]slutted around with? Eskimo amounts!”

But that’s neither here nor there. Continuing onward, UC Berkeley’s Wellness Letter says:

Large doses of fish oil supplements have potential side effects that include nausea, diarrhea, belching, and a bad taste in the mouth. Large doses of fish oil can also increase the risk of hemorrhagic stroke, suppress the immune system, and decrease glucose control in people with diabetes.

Bah! Why waste time on the intarwebs when my good friend Jess, a soon-to-be Registered Dietician, can give me free, personalized advice? She wrote:

Do an experiment with the bottle you have and go big until it’s gone. See what happens. Give it a couple days to get into your system. You can’t really overdose on fish oil. If you are taking huge doses and get a deep cut, you might not clot as well.

I love that — “experiment on yourself! you can’t overdose! but… maybe stay away from sharp objects…” Did I mention the advice was free?

Well, of course, I trust Jess’s common sense folk-wisdom based on… I’m not really sure… over some random page on the intartron, so go big I did. That’s what friends do — trust each other. “Check out this jawesome wombat-page, it’s so sweet!” “Gnnaaaak! Stop sending me pictures of that octopus eating a cat!”

And finally, we learn from the WSJ that fish oil may prevent schizophrenia. Bonus!

Researchers in the new study identified 81 people with warning signs of psychosis, including sleeping much more or less than usual, growing suspicious of others, believing someone is putting thoughts in their head or believing they have magical powers. Forty-one were randomly assigned to take four fish oil pills a day for three months. The other patients took dummy pills.

After a year of monitoring, 2 of the 41 patients in the fish oil group, or about 5%, had become psychotic, or completely out of touch with reality. In the placebo group, 11 of 40 became psychotic, about 28%.

I love that the journalist clarifies that to be psychotic is to be “completely out of touch with reality”. By that definition, I know many psychotic people. They typically make product schedules and expect engineering staff to adhere to them.

In other news, I am sleeping more, am quite skeptical of Obama’s budget plan, and have been listening to a lot of NPR lately. On the other hand, I’ve always thought that I’ve had magical powers, such as the ability to eat 10g of fish oil per day without diarrhea or belching.

YMMV.

January came and went, and lo and behold, I discovered that I was engaging in some life hacking activities.

Every year, I learn how to drive my body and brain a little better, and I’ve finally come to the conclusion that resolutions just don’t work for me. That is, big-R Resolutions, the ones where you go through months of torturous introspection, step back, and solemnly declare to start doing X, get me all excited for about 4 weeks, and then I just fall off the wagon. Call it a brain jam, deep-seated character flaw, or just plain laziness — whatever — the number of times that sort of thing has worked for me in my entire life can be counted on one hand.

I’m discovering that things stick better when I impulsively trick myself and just start doing stuff without over thinking it.

Some things I’ve been doing recently…

Crossfit. I’d had it in the back of my mind to join the local xfit gym for a while now, but kept on making convenient excuses for myself. It’s too expensive. It’s too far away. My shoulder isn’t ready. And then early in January, my friend Lindsay mentioned off-hand that she had signed up for the intro class and that I should join her. So I did.

And here I am. Excuses are just that — excuses. Valid or not, it’s important to recognize them for what they are, which are reasons to say no. And when you get sick of saying no and start asking why the hell not, good things happen.

I don’t really have a goal in mind with crossfit. Maybe I’d like to be able to do a muscle-up by the end of the year. Why the hell not?

Paleo nutrition. Another lifestyle that I’ve been flirting with on and off for a while now. The activation energy to get over the hump on this one came from the crossfit intro class. Oh, and the fact that rotisserie chickens at King Soopers are both inexpensive and relatively healthy — the price per convenience per health ratio of a rotisserie chicken can’t be beat. Really. Thank you rotisserie oven for giving me delicious hot food in 0 seconds when I’m exhausted. If I believed in idolatry, I’d cast a gold version of you and kneel at your MSG-enhanced altar every day.

But yeah, I know crossfit seems cultish in how it just takes over your life. Well, if you can ignore the cult part, it turns out that there are still good ideas to be had. So get over the image and just start doing the stuff that sounds good to you. I won’t judge, I promise.

Today, I weighed in at an ass-staggeringly heavy 160 lbs. I’m not actually expecting to lose weight while eating paleo, since I’m lifting heavy things all the time now, but I do expect my body fat composition to change. Let’s just throw a number out there, say getting to below 10% body fat by the end of the year. Why the hell not?

Paleo hygiene. Now this started more as a joke than anything else, but in for a penny, in for a pound, right? I heard about a guy who stopped using soap and shampoo and thought why the hell not? I’m about three weeks in and the experimental results so far are indicating that this is a winner.

Even with my currently longish hair, the experiment is going well. Skin isn’t breaking out and doesn’t feel typically winter dry, hair is both non-greasy and naturally coiffed, and I can’t smell my own junk.

[On that last item, note that I didn't make the much stronger claim that my junk doesn't smell. Rather, it's a combination of a) not being flexible enough to bend over and do a close olfactory inspection b) whatever else might be going on, it's not strong enough to waft up and register on the smell-o-meters in my nose and c) I'm usually somewhat congested in the winter time anyway.]

So there you have it, a few experiments I’m trying on myself. How many long does it take to form a habit? I’ve heard anywhere between 3 and 8 weeks.

Check back in at the end of February for an exciting update of the life and times of your favorite internet wanker.

Louis Auchincloss, someone that neither you nor I have ever heard of until today, passed away on Tuesday. Why do we care?

“The fact that I was a Wall Street lawyer, a registered Republican, and a social registrite was quite enough for half the people of any one party to cross me off as a kind of duckbilled platypus, not to be taken seriously.”

Because he was a platypus, that’s why.

Happy Friday!

• Louis Auchincloss, 1917-2010
• Louis Auchincloss, Chronicler of New York’s Upper Crust
• wikipedia entry

If only he were puking Sour Patch Kids.

Torre Agbar and La Sagrada Familia

This lizard is everywhere. Personally, I found it a little underwhelming. Love the argyle though!

This is probably what I look like all the time. Except I’m, you know, Asian, so I’ve got that sweet stereotype going for me, which is nice.

Sorry Joey, I stole your caption.

All in all, a pleasurable day wandering around Park Guell.

Received in my work inbox:

From: Kalpesh Sharma
Subject: Kalpesh Sharma CV – 12 years Experienced Specialist with World Records

Respected Sir/Madam,

It’s my pleasure to get in touch with you. I am an expert with world records and exceptional achievements in my field. I am attaching my resume with this email. I kindly request you to have a look incase my skills, expertise, experience, etc. can play an primary role for your company’s growth.

I believe that the company for which I work is not just a place to fulfill formality to come in morning and go back in evening, but instead the company for which I work is like my home. And a person who thinks his work place(company) his home, will take care of his company in the same way as he takes care of the safety, growth and security of his own home.

He then goes on to describe his skills, which certainly cover a wide range of topics.

Note For Entertainment Industry Only: I am ready for working 100% free of cost for short films, ad films, corporate films and full featured films. And have more then sufficient knowledge and medium acting skills to give the best delivery of my services. I will do free of cost just to gain professional experience in entertainment industry.

My Primary Challenging Skill for Executive Position: I have a lot of ideas for every industry sector. Once given an opportunity, I challenge to prove my work with practical results rather then floating in dream world and describing it theoretically.

Detailed Information of My Skills (Top 15):

• Online Marketing Expert, Internet Advertising Expert
• Article Writing Expert
• Social Networking Expert.
• Assistant Director/ Assistant Producer (Portfolio Images Attached for Entertainment Industry Related Jobs on http://www.desitara.com/shriganesh)
• Networking (LAN of Wired/Wireless up to 25 PC).

Wait, what? He can only make networks up to 25 computers?!? I suppose that’s pretty good for an assistant director.

• Information Security Expert, Ethical Hacking, Penetration Testing Expert

Heh heh… he said “penetration”.

• Linksys Wired/Wireless Router Configuration WAG325N & WRVS 4400N.
• Trainee/Assistant to Network Engineer Wide LAN/WAN Network
• Software Programming, Software Development, Software Engineering

He missed “software designing”.

• Executive/Director/Corporate/Management Levels
• Software Testing

Holy crap, an executive/director that also knows how to test software?

• Almost All Types of Administrative & Management Skills.

And he’s modest! Kalpesh doesn’t claim to know every type of management skill, but almost all of them.

• Moderate Legal Working Knowledge.

Ah crap, I was all ready to write back because the limiting factor in HP’s growth is that we don’t have any Executive Directors who can make networks of 25 computers and knows (almost) every type of management skill there is (except for the illegal Cambodian nunchaku skills, obviously) and can help Quentin Tarantino on his next film, except we needed someone with Expert Legal Working Knowledge; a moderate amount of knowledge just won’t cut it.

Sorry Mr. Sharma, hit those LSAT prep books and write back next year!