when will i ever need to know this?

Those words have been uttered by many a frustrated high school student over such subjects as Greek mythology, geometry, astronomy, and just about everything from high school English. I am here to tell you that knowledge in such esoterica is useless insofar as getting a job. But as for getting chicks, it’s solid gold. All of it. Except for maybe geometry, but guys who didn’t wear pants invented it, so how hard could it be?

And so, continuing with the “alex’s life is an open book” theme, and because I’m a firm believer in recycling, I present for your amusement, an example of how I’ve been spending my time lately.

In response to a match.com profile that read in part:

Instead of writing a long description about my match, I’ve written the following C plus plus program at the risk of exposing my truly nerdy side:

Program Title: My Heathcliff (not the cat)
//start
if (Guy’s sense of humor is more than 5 out of 10, meaning he can laugh at a “knock-knock” joke)
(then allow to proceed);

else (Guy’s sense of humor is less than 5 out of 10)
(then end program)
/* … */
else if (Guy is willing to climb a tree to save a cat =Y)
(then add 2 points)
/* … */
if (Guy’s score =10)
(then instruct him to compose an email or a sonnet similar to Shakespeare’s Sonnet #18)
/* … */
end//

[C style /* ... */ comments inserted by me to trim the length down a bit]

Well, I had 10 points, so I responded with…

sonnet 0x1010 1100

I've never had to think this hard
To dash off email sent anon;
I've no shame in this regard to blatantly copy the famous Bard.
(I'll attempt to ignore my inner caution and play around with this locution.)

'Twas your headline caught my eye at first,
Timely I thought and clever to boot;
And the rest of your profile dispersed the thoughts of a mind well-versed.
(A welcome relief during pursuit of the one with whom I might truly compute.)

Speaking of which, I mention with dread,
I was totally baffled by your code.
C plus plus you said, but syntax errors were all I read ;)
(I kid, I kid; your humor, it showed; as well, as I have too my own geek mode.)

So there you have it, I'm done with that.
So much in common, ('cept I don't like cats ;)

Bonus points if you can break it down and a gold star if you understand why the title is a little joke to myself.

By the way, “yappydog3″ never responded, but what do you expect from a cat lover who confuses = and ==? Maybe she confused herself with all those parens and interspersed lisp in her tortured pseudo-C++ pseudo-code with mangled whitespace.

I’m not bitter, I’m just sayin’…