alex chiang: web 6.0

Popular Mechanics has a hokey list of 25 things every man should be able to do.

I scored 20/25 for things that I am absolutely certain I could do (with skill).

Of course, because I am a man, I am also absolutely certain that if I were called upon to perform the other 5 things on the list, I would charge forward and perform those actions confidently and decisively as if I knew exactly what I was doing (doing it correctly is a different story).

Thus the paradox of the man test — you either get a perfect manly score due to your extreme and overbearing overconfidence, or you are not a man because you doubt yourself, you skirt-wearing sally.

How many of my loyal readers are men? (Note: you don’t actually have to be a man to be a man; being a man is 100% attitude and 98% jock strap size, meaning a woman could theoretically score 100% on the man scale. Do not worry about the emasculation of our gender, though, as I have achieved the perfect score of 198%.) On the other hand, if you’re not a man, you would be too cowardly to let the rest of the world know. Thus, if you have ever read my blog and do not affirm your manhood by posting a comment, I can only assume you are a woman. Sorry.

This post has been brought to you by James Westfall and Dr. Kenneth Noisewater.