things just ain’t what they used to be

And even Al Qaeda knows it.

The Manchester Document (pdf) is an Al Qaeda jihad manual, similar to the Field Manuals that our military publishes. As explained by DefenseLINK:

The 18-chapter manual provides a detailed window into al Qaeda’s network and its procedures for waging jihad – from conducting surveillance operations to carrying out assassinations to working with forged documents.

Give it a read and see how they’re planning the next 9/11. I found it Keystone Kops-ish in many places and unintentionally hilarious in many. This excerpt is my favorite example:

In a newer apartment, avoid talking loud because prefabricated ceilings and walls [used in the apartments] do not have the same thickness as those in old ones.

Al Qaeda laments for the good ol’ days! When apartment complexes didn’t have tissue-thin walls! The race to the bottom in the capitalist American construction industry is indirectly thwarting Al Qaeda’s plans for world domination!

Of course, it never behooves you to underestimate your enemy, but still… I guess I’m just easily amused.