… but this is my new phone. I wonder if the public at large will appreciate my fine sense of irony, and general conviction that most consumer technology, but especially cell phones, are totally teh ghey.
Methinks probably not.
And even Al Qaeda knows it.
The Manchester Document (pdf) is an Al Qaeda jihad manual, similar to the Field Manuals that our military publishes. As explained by DefenseLINK:
The 18-chapter manual provides a detailed window into al Qaeda’s network and its procedures for waging jihad - from conducting surveillance operations to carrying out assassinations to working with forged documents.
Give it a read and see how they’re planning the next 9/11. I found it Keystone Kops-ish in many places and unintentionally hilarious in many. This excerpt is my favorite example:
In a newer apartment, avoid talking loud because prefabricated ceilings and walls [used in the apartments] do not have the same thickness as those in old ones.
Al Qaeda laments for the good ol’ days! When apartment complexes didn’t have tissue-thin walls! The race to the bottom in the capitalist American construction industry is indirectly thwarting Al Qaeda’s plans for world domination!
Of course, it never behooves you to underestimate your enemy, but still… I guess I’m just easily amused.
Recently, a buddy clued me into Google Reader. What is it? For my geek friends, it’s an RSS reader. For my normal friends, think of it as “an inbox for the web” (and go view the 2 minute intro video to learn more).
I’ve more or less resisted joining the RSS revolution for a while, trying to shoehorn new technology into an old paradigm (dang, I think that sentence pushed me over the edge and now I must label this entry as “geek”). What I would do is add interesting links to my del.icio.us account with various tags. I would then subscribe to the RSS feeds of those tags using Firefox’s built in support. Voila, portable bookmarks.
After playing with google reader for a bit, I’m converted over to the new way of thinking, which is, use an RSS aggregator to organize the various feeds out there on the web for you. I came to this conclusion for a simple reason: push vs. pull (dang, even though this blog is buzzword heavy, I can’t even use current buzzwords… I think the whole push vs. pull debated ended in 1999 after Pointcast died or whatever). Anyhow, let me ’splain…
In the bad old days, I resisted adding extra bookmarks unless the blog or site had really good stuff. Reason being, it’s a lot of work to visit all those sites every day just to see what new stuff popped up. My own limit was something around 20 sites a day; anything beyond that, and I would basically just become saturated and not be able to take in any more information. So I regularly culled out old stuff that I wasn’t as interested in anymore, and added new blogs as they piqued my interest.
Hard stop. Using google reader, I can probably subscribe to 5x the number of interesting blogs because a) the reader pulls the information for you and puts it all in one place and b) (this is the important one) you can then read it at your leisure. Just like an inbox for the web. So sites that update every hour can sit right next to sites that update every few days, and the amount of work that you do is the same. Verrrrry nice.
Of course, being a google product, it’s extra nice, since I’ve already got a handy dandy google login and don’t have to create a new account somewhere. Also, since it’s a web service, I don’t have to worry about cross-platform headaches — it’ll work in Firefox whether I’m reading on my mac mini, my windows laptop, or my linux workstation. Any computer with a browser allows me to read stuff that I’m interested in. Bonus feature of not having to read crappy Adsense ads splattered all over in desparate attempts to monetize their blogs. (Yes, I know I have Adsense on my own blog, but the ad units are at the bottom of each individual archived post, not inline in the text itself, so they’re unobtrusive, so go away.) I did have to block a new site called “pheedo” in my adblock, though, since somehow they’ve figured out how to insert annoying ads into RSS feeds. Whatever, problem solved.
I’ve converted almost my entire blogroll over to it. There are still a few holdouts, and this leads to my new set of major annoyances with blogs in today’s world. Major annoyance #1 are sites that don’t publish feeds! WTF? Get on the bandwagon, memepool and random friends who use weirdo lame blogging software/sites that don’t publish feeds… You are making me inefficient.
Less annoying than #1 but still very annoying are the sites that only publish excerpts. Listen to me guys, I don’t want to read posts on your site using your color scheme and your fonts and your publishing schedule. I don’t want to click over to your site. I want to stay in my little world and read what you have to say. Are you listening to me, Andrew Sullivan and Wired news? (answer: probably not; and also, I shouldn’t pick on Sullivan since he did get rid of his horrible white-on-purple-weirdo-serif-font-impossible-to-read-color-scheme, but still, you get the point). Publish your whole feed, please.
Finally, there are sites which I will probably never put into google reader, which interestingly enough, are the online equivalents of dead trees newspapers: the CSM (a site I read because it’s good) and the Coloradoan (a site I read because it’s there). Thanks to their dead trees roots (har har), they still use layout to differentiate important stories from fluffier stuff. So their interesting stuff is either centered, or way above the fold, uses larger fonts, and just stand out more overall. The stories I care less about are either sidebar links or tucked away somewhere else out of site. This works well for me, since I can just visually scan the page and have a good chance that I’ll click on an article I care about. The interesting paradox with their RSS feeds though, is that with all layout removed, then all the content looks equally important. It’s really hard to tell which is a headline story written by a seasoned reporter with lots of research, and which stories are “local cat show delights all” type crapola. So I won’t read their RSS feeds. We’ll see if these sites are even around in 10 years.
Anyhow, that’s enough nerdiness for one day. Give google reader a shot.
Last year, I made my first turkey. The turkey itself came out pretty good, but as I noted in the blog posting, the gravy was weak and watery. It took about 2 hours of reducing to get it to thicken up, due to lack of enough roux.
This year, we tried again with another early Thanksgiving. I wanted to try a new recipe, so I found this one: Sherry’s German Turkey, which I used to prepare our 20 lb. bird (another behemoth). The one thing I changed in the recipe was to add an overnight brining step. This required purchasing the largest pot I’ve ever seen in my life — a 21 quart monstrosity, and I wasn’t sure the shelves in my fridge were going to be able to handle the weight, but everything held up.
(edit: Jenny tells me that not everyone knows what brining is. The short story is: rub salt all over the inside and outside of the carcass and then cover the entire bird with water. Add more salt to the water, and then let it sit overnight. For a 20 lb. bird, maybe 1/2 cup to 1 full cup of salt is the right amount. Some recipes call for kosher salt or sea salt, but any salt will do. The next day when you’re ready to cook, dump all the salty water out and rinse the existing salt off the bird. Now begin whatever recipe you’re following.)
The recipe calls for soul food seasoning, which took me a while to figure out (actually, kudos to my coworker Matt who teased out the correct ingredients with his google-fu). To save you the same trouble (and because you probably don’t know Matt): soul food seasoning recipe.
After brining the bird, I followed the recipe to a tee. The combination of the brining, the bacon, and the orange resulted in a deliciously moist bird, and I received compliments on it all night long.
Fixing the gravy debacle of last year was similarly easy, using this Easy Turkey Gravy recipe. When you use an oven bag, all the juices stay inside the bag until you’re done roasting. That’s not a problem with this recipe…
When you take the bird out of the oven, it has to rest for 15-20 minutes anyhow before you start carving it. This is plenty of time to make the gravy. Cut the bag away from the bird and throw it away; this will obviously cause all the drippings to flood into the bottom of the roasting pan. Your hardest task will be transferring the juices from the roasting pan into a cooking pot. You can do it the slow, safe way by siphoning it out with a baster, or you be more risky by enlisting a helper. As you tilt the pan over the pot and pour the juices in, the helper plays “D” by holding the turkey in place and not letting it fall out, which would result in unmitigated disaster. You can probably get 90% of the juice out in 30 seconds this way, and get the remaining 10% using the baster.
The juices should come to a boil pretty quickly since they’re already hot. A 20 lb. turkey will create a lot more than 5 or 6 cups of drippings, so I basically doubled the recipe, using 2 cans of soup, twice the seasonings, and twice the milk and flour. It should take a lot less than 15 minutes to dump all the ingredients in and mix them up, and when you’re done, you’ll have a beautifully thick, savory “home made” gravy with only a little bit of cheating. Of course, your guests should be doing their part at this point, getting sauced and enjoying themselves, while not noticing your indiscretion, so no one will be the wiser.
Last year, I anticipated a few years of stumbling around until I finally figured out how to make a turkey that everyone would enjoy, believing this learning process to be a part of manhood and what eventually makes one into a good dad. I’m gonna go out on a limb though, and say that in my 2nd year, I’ve pretty much found the winning combination that I will use until I die (let’s say some time in 2053). The only point of deviation will occur if I ever purchase a deep fat fryer, in which case I’ll obviously be trying to make a fried turkey. Maybe if we ever get laser beam cookers or something else crazy in the future, I’d try that too. But as long as I cook turkeys with conventional oven technology, I’ll be using the notes from this blog post to do so.
All in all, we fed about 25 people, all of whom brought their own delicious sides and desserts for a great time. I believe a Fort Collins tradition is taking root.
Chapter 908769874 of Alex’s life as an open book describes my travel plans for the next 6 (or so) months. Cross your fingers and hope that the A-Train is making a stop in Your Town. If I’m within a 300 mile radius, you’d better make an effort to meet up or I shall cross you off my friends list and add you to my “hope an elephant with bloody diarrhea sits on your face” list.
Other potential destinations (probabilities, dates, and times are still TBD): Whistler Ski Resort (British Columbia, Canada, eh); Finland?
Flying miles: many. Driving miles: approx. 1000 (from Ft. Collins to Las Vegas, but then Jenny drives to NorCal and then back to CO while I gallivant in el America del Sur).
All dates are in my Google calendar. Cherish.
The Beeb has an article about THE WORLD’S MOST DANGEROUS ROAD! dum da daaaah!
Yes, it’s the same one I rode my bike down in 2002.
Best $50 I ever spent.
Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey, upset the #3 ranked team (Louisville) in the country Thursday night in college football. To put it mildly, this is awesome.
Favorite quote:
New Jerseyans have always been long on attitude, as WFAN radio host Chris Russo discovered during the station’s broadcast from outside the stadium.
Second favorite quote:
A roll call of Rudys shut out, shut down, and shut up Brian Brohm and the rest of a feared Louisville offense.
[...]
And then there was Rutgers’ offense, where the Rudys just kept on coming against the Cards.
Rudy was probably the only movie that ever made me cry.
Chapter 12089745 of “Alex’s Life as an Open Book” concludes.
So over on digg the other day, there was a popular post that simply had the title, What is 78×23? Apparently, it was an attempt at deep thinking.
Not to me though. I just figured it was someone who accidentally resized their xterm 2 columns smaller and one line shorter, and didn’t bother reading the story.
Turns out, it wasn’t even as interesting as that, since the answer was just a math problem (1794). Oh well.
This post will amuse perhaps 0.0001% and confuse and annoy perhaps 99.9999% (hey, that’s 6 nines!) of my loyal blog readers, for the following reasons:
To my friends and readers: feel lucky that you get to experience the world as a normal person.
Here is a handy dandy cheatsheet for you to bring to the ballot box tomorrow that will help you make the right choices for Colorado’s future. If you don’t agree with me, you’re wrong.
Amendment 38: expands the ability of citizens to propose changes to state and local laws.
Yes to 38. Streamlining the petitioning process such that it is easier to get items on the ballot, as well as restricting the length of ballot titles seems like a no brainer to me. Improving our election process is a Good Thing.
Amendment 39: require each school district to spend at least 65% of its operating budget on specific items, such as teachers, libraries, books, computers, and field trips.
No on 39. Mandating individual school districts to spend a specific percentage of their budget on the above list takes choice away from the districts on how they need to spend their dollars. It also implicitly assumes that more spending necessarily equals better education, an assumption that I would challenge. Finally, it excludes things such as improving the physical plant, so if a school needs to renovate a building one year, that cost had better be less than 35% of the budget. If not, the only options are to increase the budget, stretch the construction piecemeal out over several fiscal years, or forgo construction altogether. Let the individual school districts decide how to spend their dollars. Keep it out of the Colorado constitution.
Referendum J: same as Amendment 39, although it changes state statue, and not the constitution. It also allows voters to exempt a school district from the 65% requirement.
No to J. Although structurally, it’s a bit better than Amendment 39 (since it modifies state statue rather than the constitution, and it allows for an exemption process), in principle, it’s still a bad idea to mandate individual district spending at the state level. More choices and freedom are better. What’s hard to understand about that?
Amendment 40: introduce 3-term limit for Supreme Court and Appeals Court judges.
No on 40. Why introduce such short terms (maxiumum of 10 years total) for our judiciary? Seems to me this amendment will severely reduce the amount of experience in our courts. Colorado judges are not appointed for life — they have to be reelected. This amendment smells like a political ploy to me, designed to make it easier to get rid of “activist judges” or whatever. No thanks.
Amendment 41: code of conduct in government prohibiting elected officials from accepting any gifts over $50 in a calendar year, accepting gifts or meals from lobbyists, restricts former officials from becoming paid lobbyists within 2 years of leaving office, and creates an ethics commission with oversight.
Yes on 41! Whew, that was a long one, but worth it. The minorly troublesome clause restricting what officials can do once they revert to private citizenship seems a bit invasive, but I’d say it’s a worthy tradeoff that will lead to cleaner government. Why anyone would vote against this amendment is beyond me. Anything we can do to limit corruption and ethics breaches is good.
Amendment 42: increase minimum wage to $6.85 / hour, and adjust it annually for inflation; and increase minimum wage to $3.83 / hour for employees who get tips (adjusted annually also).
No on 42. Sorry, I tend to support the business owner over the employee in this case. Perhaps the most common complaint from employers is that it’s really hard to find good help. If the employer wants better employees, there’s basically one fix: make your business a more attractive place to work, either with benefits or higher wages. In other words, let the market fix your problem. In other other words, you get what you pay for. This amendment will hurt the ability of business owners (and small-business owners especially) to attract better talent than their competitors by raising the salary floor every year, automatically rewarding employees with an inflation-adjusted raise regardless of merit or annual performance. I don’t get that benefit at my work; why should I support this amendment for them? Additionally, as a consumer, this will make the cost of things I purchase more expensive. No thanks, this is a bad idea. Here’s an idea for the minimum-wage earning employee: if you want more money, improve your skills and work at a place where they’ll reward you for it. Duh.
Amendment 43: define marriage in Colorado as only a union between one man and one woman.
No on 43. A vote for this amendment is a vote for bigotry. ‘Nuff said. Anyone else remember when black people only counted as 3/5 of a person? That was acceptable back then too.
Referendum I: creates domestic partnerships for same-sex couples, giving them certain state-level legal protections (but not overriding current federal law).
Yes to I. Domestic partnerships for gay people do not cause straight marriages to fail. How anyone can claim this is beyond me, other than the fact that they probably had lead plumbing in their childhood house, and would have enjoyed setting certain symbols of Christian mythology on fire on various lawns of certain people in our society, back in the 1960s or so. Rhetoric aside, this amendment is the perfect cleaver that divides the church from state with respect to “marriage”. Let individual churches and religions keep ownership of the word “marriage” and let the state define legal protections between two people. If you try to go slippery slope with me on this one, I pity your predicament that requires you to breathe from your mouth.
Amendment 44: legalize possession of up to 1 oz. of marijuana for adults 21 and older.
Yes on 44. What individual citizens do in the privacy of their own homes is not the business of the state. We already have laws dealing with intoxicated driving — they still apply here. Marijuana is safer than alcohol, blah blah blah. The body of literature on this subject is immense. Go read The Emperor Wears No Clothes: The Authoritative Historical Record of Cannabis and the Conspiracy Against Marijuana for more details. PS, “gateway drug” argument is a slippery slope argument. Yawn.
Referendum E: property tax reduction for disabled veterans.
Yes to E. This referendum applies to 100% disabled veterans, and will cost our state about $1 million per year. The Colorado state budget was $16.2 billion dollars for 2006-2007. I’ll not begrudge our veterans 0.006% of our budget.
Referendum F: remove deadlines for protesting petitions to recall elected state officials.
No to F. This is a confusing ballot item, but in essence, if there is a recall for an elected official, this ballot item will remove any deadlines for the official to challenge the recall. In other words, it will enable recalled officials to postpone the recall indefinitely. Now that I’ve broken it down to plain English for you, you can see why this is obviously a bad idea.
Referendum G: remove obsolete Colorado constitutional provisions.
Yes to G. Get rid of old cruft. To the dorks who think the old provisions preserve valuable historical information, have you ever heard of a library?
Referendum H: increase state income tax for business who employ illegal aliens.
Yes to H. Why do we have an illegal alien problem in this country? Because the status quo does not punish the enablers: business owners who knowingly hire illegal aliens. This referendum is one small step in solving a gigantic structural problem. It is important to note that this referendum is not a tax rate increase per se; rather, it eliminates a deduction a business can take for wages paid to employees. In other words, we’re not going to allow you to deduct the cost of paying an illegal alien anymore, because, um, that’s not right. Hit you in the wallet, and maybe you’ll become part of the solution and help us reform the structural problems, rather than continuing to turn a blind eye and flying under the radar. Some argue that this referendum will only hurt the honest businesses that report how many illegal aliens they employ. Change the word “honest” to “dumb” and carry on.
Referendum K: require the state of Colorado to sue the federal government every year until existing immigration laws are enforced.
No to K! This is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard in my life. Require more suing? That’s exactly what’s wrong with this country. This referendum will cost us $190,000 every year, until the issue is resolved. Here’s a better idea: give me $190,000 every year, and I will write a python script and cronjob that automatically writes letters and calls the federal government every hour from now til eternity. By strange coincidence, is also will require the state attorney general’s office to hire two new attorneys plus staff. Hm, I wonder who proposed this referendum?
Damn, that was a lot of writing, and no one will ever read it. Now I know what it’s like to work for an old-school dead-trees newspaper in the day and age of the internet. Ba dum dum!