alex chiang: web 6.0

April 28, 2006

chizang beats sullivan!

Filed under: dreck — alex @ 10:31 am

Andrew Sullivan writes about the stupidity of government intervention as regards gas prices. Money quote:

In truth, these high gas prices are an obvious function of demand and supply, and, as such, they are one of the best things to happen in a long time. I hope they go much higher. Soon. If they don’t, the government should force them higher with a big fat gas tax. Only higher oil prices will actually jump-start the new, greener technologies we all say we want (and our planet desperately needs).

[...]

A conservative government would simply say: we have no control over global oil prices; consumers reap what they sow; companies should be left alone; and if your wallet is empty because of all that gas in your SUV, you’ve learned a useful lesson in self-government.

Hey, what a great idea! In the interest of tooting my own horn, however, let me point out this post I wrote on August 29, 2005, entitled world’s smallest violin. My moneyquote:

I’m sorry, but I’m rooting for higher gas prices. The only way you’ll effect change amongst the unwashed masses is to hit them in the only place it counts — their wallets. Maybe once gas hits $5 a gallon, we’ll stop seeing single occupancy giant pickup trucks and SUVs tooling around town. Maybe we’ll start seeing viable public transportation initiatives, or more bicyclists. Maybe we won’t need to maintain a strategic interest in the Middle East, and can let that area of the world fester and rot as seems to be their desire anyhow.

Take that, Andrew! I beat you by almost 9 months, staying true to Jeff Vyduna’s observation that I’m about 6 months ahead of the curve. ;)

Here’s to the $hundred-barrel.

April 26, 2006

worst bar drink ever?

Filed under: dreck — alex @ 5:04 pm

Zug.com attempts to find the worst bar drink ever. Frankly, I was a bit disappointed with what they got, although it wasn’t their fault so much as the fact that they had unimaginative bartenders. The Green Chartreuse sounded interesting, but the other drinks were fruity frou-frou drinks that didn’t seem so bad. Maybe the bartenders confused “worst shot” for “most esoteric shot”.

The comments section was a bit better. I saw a few truly nasty shots in there, which since I’m not 19 years old anymore, will probably never do. They include pouring the disgusting runoff shit from the bartender mat into a shot glass, and this thing:

Bloody Runny Indian Fart at Sunrise.
in a rocks glass you put in one shot 151. on top of this one raw egg, one shot of baileys, and topped off with a couple squirts of tobasco.

I don’t know if you’ve ever tried a raw egg alone, but the 151 begins cooking the egg to a rotten consistancy, while also curdling the baileys, top that off with tobasco and you are in for a ride.

Uh, thanks, SaDisTic3vil. Oh yeah, I also won’t be doing the “Dirty Mexican - Tequilla and Mayonaise” either.

For me, a disgusting shot isn’t just the amount of burning due to high alcohol content, or a nasty taste due to an odd combination of liquors. No, for me, a disgusting shot must also include a horrible consistency (or “mouth feel”). In this spirit, I present the shots that I’ve actually done (or been present for) and thought were disgusting:

1) the T-Bone. 1/2 shot of 151 and 1/2 shot of A-1 Steak Sauce. The liquor instantly goes into your mouth and burns your soft tissues while you wait for the steak sauce to catch up due to its higher viscosity. Putrid.

2) The Eggermeister. One shot of Jaegermeister and one pickled egg (common in most bars), served in a highball glass. The nastiness comes from having to hold the Jaeger in your mouth as you chew the rubbery, pickled egg. Blech.

3) No name. Take a shot of Jack Daniels and insert 1/2 strip of raw bacon. It causes this to happen:

Suggestions for the last one are welcomed.

April 17, 2006

asian mullet

Filed under: dreck — alex @ 3:45 pm

Behold intarweb, the sweetest Asian mullet, evar! I have decided that I pretty much have the greatest hair in the known universe, with my mullet and my awesome Asian ’stache and goatee (which took me about 2 months to grow). Kiss my converse!

April 14, 2006

an ode to wal-mart

Filed under: dreck — alex @ 10:54 am

In keeping with the Wal-Mart theme, and my own laziness in generating original content, I’m just going to link to an column published in the CSM today titled An Ode to Wal-Mart. Humorous quote:

Ah, we benighted masses who shop at Wal-Mart - the “bad neighbor,” the antiworker, the female-discriminator, the Main-Street-mom-and-pop-store-killer with its “Wal-ocaust” policies and “Everyday Low-Price Guns.” But Wal-Mart just made up for it all by stocking “Brokeback Mountain.”

Worried about who’ll get hurt by a gun purchased at Wal-Mart? Just think how many lives Wal-Mart saves by not stocking the morning-after pill.

Of course, that’s not entirely true anymore, as Wal-Mart does plan on carrying Plan B at all its pharmacies.

April 11, 2006

wal-mart, sell me a steve austin kit

Filed under: dreck — alex @ 2:15 pm

The CSM has an article today titled US economy’s latest output: better jobs. Money quote:

“We’re creating lots of all kinds of jobs, across many industries, occupations, and pay scales,” says Mark Zandi, chief economist at Moody’s Economy.com. But he adds: “If your skill sets are rusty, or at the low end of the skill range, you’re going to have a tougher time.”

Here at chizang.net, the Department of Out-of-Context Quotes thanks you for bolstering our previous point that the United States of Wal-Mart is a good thing.

Tongue-in-cheek, I’ll now claim that the Wal-Mart’ization of America is making our country better, faster, stronger. If only they sold a DIY Steve Austin kit (always low prices, now only $5 million 500 thousand dollars!).

April 4, 2006

united states of wal-mart

Filed under: Uncategorized — alex @ 1:00 am

I finished reading The United States of Wal-Mart a few days ago, and thought it was a steaming pile of poo.

First off, John Dicker’s writing style irritated me. I’m sure he thought that he was being irreverently hilarious, but the final effect was obnoxious and detracting. A representative quote:

Butler Brothers required Walton, as it required all Ben Franklin operators, to purchase 80 percent of his stock from the company’s warehouses. Walton chafed at this. He started sniffing out other arrangements. Most wholesalers Walton approached were skittish about selling directly to him, fearful of the repercussions from cutting Butler Brothers out of the picture. However, he did persuade an unfortunately named New Yorker, one Harry Weiner, to supply him with satin, elastic-waist panties for two bucks a dozne: 25 percent less than he was paying Butler Brothers.

This from a guy named John Dicker. Nice one, Dickboy. Way to include a passive-aggressive “I hate you meaniehead!” backlash at the bullies who made you cry when you were in grade school (or perhaps college) in your book.

In any case, Dicker clearly has an anti-Wal-Mart bias in his book, and the planks of his platform are described in two chapters. The first chides Wal-Mart for not providing adequate health-care to its employees; the other takes Wal-Mart to task for being fiercly anti-union.

As regards healthcare, I’ll not be too apologetic for Wal-Mart’s actions, although I am of a mixed mind. The fact that Wal-Mart doesn’t provide cheap healthcare to its employees and encourages them to sign up for government subsidies directly affects my wallet, as my tax dollars fund those government safety net programs. This, of course, irks me. On the other hand, one could argue that the healthcare situation in America is screwed up to begin with. It helps to remember that employers weren’t always the main providers of health insurance. Rather, it became a popular perk back during World War II, when the government forbade companies to offer competitive wages (ie, wage and price controls), and so the companies started offering benefits packages to help retain talent. (Further reading on US health insurance history.)

The point is that it is incorrect to argue on moral grounds that Wal-Mart should provide better benefits to its employees. Health benefits are a business decision, and Wal-Mart is simply playing by the established rules. Now you may claim that the current rules suck and should be changed, and you won’t get much argument out of me. However, from a business point of view, I don’t see Wal-Mart as doing anything wrong.

As for the anti-unionism, well, that argument has absolutely no traction with me. Unions were useful once, but as far as I’m concerned, in today’s world, they’re about as relevant as using the French language for business communications. Arguing for unions (and tangentially related, more manufacturing jobs) is evidence of being trapped in a 19th century mindset. Dicker spends a lot of time talking about how Wal-Mart squeezes its suppliers and “forces” them to use cheap, off-shore, non-union labor in order to continually offer lower-priced products. In his mind, this is obviously a bad thing, since it means Americans are losing cushy jobs to Singaporeans, Mexicans, Indonesians, and the like.

From my point of view, this is a GOOD thing. It’s GOOD that we’re losing manufacturing jobs, no matter how well they pay. Why? Because it will force our country to look to the future for employment, not the past. The sooner we move away from the mindset that a manufacturing job is desirable and should be protected, and come to grips with the fact that the your best chances for earning a decent wage comes from higher education and becoming a “knowledge worker”, the better off our entire country is. Let Bangladesh and Turkmenistan fight for our manufacturing jobs. We don’t want them!

The world is in a transition phase right now. For most of human history, our species has been focused on “stuff”, whether it be the making or acquiring thereof. Only in the past, let’s say, 30 years (coinciding nicely with the advent of modern computing) has it become possible for a significant percentage of our species to earn a living based on knowledge, rather than stuff. This breakthrough was only possible with the rapid advancement in technology. At the risk of sounding too Kurzweilian here, technology is only going to get better, faster, and soon, being tied down to “stuff” will be obsolete. Clinging to the old paradigm is about as effective as the dinosaurs hoping that those pesky little mammals would stop eating their eggs.

But enough pontificating here. Dicker’s annoying style, plus his antiquated outlook of our society’s goals translates into my dislike of his book. About the only useful purpose it serves is to be exposed to how a large portion of America thinks, which makes you feel better about yourself that you’re not like them.