wtf, potty parity?
An article in the CSM today about potty parity, which is basically the idea that since women take longer in the bathroom, we should increase the ratio of men’s to women’s bathrooms so that the lines are of equal length.
Excuse me, but this idea makes about as much sense as intelligent design, which is to say that it doesn’t.
Let me make two suggestions. First, to all women — stop treating “piss and/or shit time” as “talk to my friend while taking a piss and/or shit time and then doing makeup afterwards”. Stereotypical and misogynistic, perhaps, but that doesn’t make it less true.
The second suggestion is that we just go Ally McBeal style and become anorexic hyperimaginitave freaks who want to get into Rober Downey Jr.’s pants, because let’s face it, who doesn’t. Hm, no that doesn’t sound right. What I meant to say was that we should just eliminate the concept of gendered bathrooms and just have 100% unisex bathrooms. That would be the best method of load-balancing.
If you ask me, getting infected with PC-itis is the new AIDS.
January 20th, 2006 at 9:55 am
You’ve outdone yourself at offending this time. Congrats.
PS - Girl farts stink, I dont want them in our bathroom.
January 24th, 2006 at 1:04 pm
Maybe I’m misreading, but wouldn’t “increasing the ratio of men’s to women’s bathrooms” exacerbate the problem (or perceived problem, as it may be)? Perhaps I should look at the article, but I’m lazy.
And in unrelated gas news, I just bought a bottle of butane at Walgreens. Go me.
January 24th, 2006 at 1:10 pm
Maybe I was sloppy in what I wrote. The overall idea is that you would have 2x-3x the number of women’s bathrooms compared to men’s bathrooms.
/ac
January 25th, 2006 at 1:11 pm
Gotcha. Absurd.
May 16th, 2008 at 6:42 am
Ok this is pretty sexist, why don’t you start a whole movement against it lol. I just hope reincarnation is true so that next life you’ll be female, read a post like this and cry boo-hoo why do I have to wait to pee! Serve you right. As a male you simply can’t understand how annoying it is to have to wait 20 minutes to pee and appreciate how easy guys have it. I so better be a guy next life I’m so jealous of how easy it is for a guy to pee. I sort of agree it’s dumb to make a law over this but I really wish they’d give women more toilets, it’s so unfair, even if we do take too long. But it’s a man’s world so I guess all I have left to say is :P. Your mean :P. LOL.
May 16th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
“Ok this is pretty sexist, why don’t you start a whole movement against it lol.”
OMG that is the greatest idea ever! Thanks for the idea Jill. So what do you say guys let’s do it! Let’s start a large internet campaign against Potty Parity! Here’s an idea give women half as many toilets and maybe they’ll learn to pee twice as fast! For too long men have had to hear women complain about long lines to the restroom, let’s end their whining! Ha ha ha, I love being a guy. Sorry Jill, but this is an important issue, men cannot afford to lose the battle AGAINST this potty parity injustice :P. So who wants to join me in the fight to stop this blazen act of discrimination against men(why do we only get half as many toilets as women!).You with me guys?
May 17th, 2008 at 12:44 am
Oh my word, more womens bathrooms, that’s the worse idea ever, as if they don’t spend long enough in there now. Imagine if there were even more. I am starting, dum dee dum, a ANTI-PARITY SITE. Yes ladies and gentelmen, i am starting to go against this and am devoting large number of my hours to it. We will clean out this act like a pile of stale pee by the janitor. This is so crazy that i am commiting this site to you Jill and all of woman kind so they can hold their pathetic bladders longer. You and your building code of more bathrooms, i have heard rumors of this and now it has become all to real, i squash your movement!!!!
The site will be http://www.Anti-womens/bathroom-talk.parity.com/squash-you-now/puneybladdersbeware/
It will be up and running soon and will descisivly end this non-sense and make you all pee your pants. Have fun with that.
PS: Women must hold their pee LONGER THAN MEN!!! HAHAHAHA!!!
May 17th, 2008 at 5:58 am
Oh come on! Unfair unfair! You guys are all the same, meanies :P lol. C’mon I can’t hold my pee longer, my puny little girl bladder can’t take it! Boo Hooo! Ha ha lol. Oh lordy lordy lol. Sad thing is you’ll probably get your way too just by doing nothing cause your men :P. I could probably get 100,000 women to sign a petition and have it amount to nothing so :P and another :P. If you had to hold your pee as long as us girls you’d be in tears :P. Maybe I’ll start my own movement lol. But alas it is a man’s world so I’ll just go sulk in the corner, cross my legs and grit my teeth and keep whining like a little girl. Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo! I gotta pee! And just in case I left it out earlier :P :P :P :P :P………………:P times 100!
June 13th, 2008 at 7:18 am
Ok I see no one has been moved by my plight! Lemme post 2 videos that show just how bad the situation is! Not gonna give up on this issue! Kinda funny to go to websites and see every guy opposing this potty law though, but damn do I want this law!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSQITpY349U
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaGSqCHJ148
Now c’mon guys how is that remotely fair, it’s inhumane I tell you! I’ve waited on lines that long and you have noooooo idea, I mean nooooooo idea just how frustrating it is. Lemme try and explain it. Rant warning!
Ok guys just TRY and see this from the female perspective for a minute here. You guys never wait in line or very rarely if ever right? At any rate if you do you don’t have to patiently stand behind 30 people first I’m guessing :P. Still at most how long would you wait 2 minutes in a few rare instances, at most places I mean, you probably don’t wait 5, 10 or 30 minutes to pee! Ok imagine the opposite now. Imagine that every time you had to pee at any major public place you had a big line. Picture a time you had like a 30 second wait now imagine it was a 30 minute wait! Let’s say you woke up in like the twilight zone or bizarro world, where men have to pee sitting for some reason and the quick whip out isn’t an option lol. Everywhere you go the men’s room is now as long as the women’s room line was. AND, now here’s the kicker, imagine the reverse was also true for the women too! Everywhere you went BIG lines at men’s room but NONE at the women’s EVER! Women are in and out revolving bathroom door, if they have to pee 30 seconds tops, no waiting ever pretty much. So picture that world. Now picture you go out with your girl friend or a bunch of female friends and family members or something and your both dying to pee but everywhere you go she walks right in, right out of the bathroom, while you wait in a huge line for the men’s room. Let’s say like 20 minutes your standing there with your GF who is carefree, relieved, no need to pee chatting with her friends, giggling at the men’s line and swirling a big bottle of water just outside your reeach. I bet you’d be pretty annoyed wouldn’t you?!(Yeah guys have done that to me and I wasn’t gonna lose my place in line to stop them :P)
Let’s add more to this! Ok now let’s say while you wait all the men have like 5 places to pee BUT you find out due to the smaller space for women’s toilets women have 10-15 places to pee and pee twice as fast besides. So 3 times as many place to pee plus peeing twice as quick=no lines for them as theirs go 6 times as fast! As your waiting in men’s room line the women’s room has plenty of unused toilets. Going into the COMPLETELY EMPTY ladies room will get you arrested so you best just keep waiting patiently fellas ;).Wait there’s more still! Ok now picture all the archeitects are women and they design these bathrooms that make you wait ha ha! Then, one fateful glorious day, you hear of a law called the Men’s Restroom Equity law, a law that will give you twice as many toilets so you can pee as fast as the women! You’d be pretty thrilled wouldn’t you? Oh don’t lie I know you would! So now you go online and all around the forums everywhere men are thrilled at the new law. However all the women on the forums think it’s dumb, telling you to pee faster and not chat so much. You complain and complain but are ignored and mocked. You probably think the women were being mean and you resent their disregard of your bladder discomfort having no idea what it’s like to have to wait since their bathroom NEVER has a line, ever! But here’s the thing that’s most frustrating THEY get the final say on this issue. You can complain and complain but ultimately women are the ones who design the restrooms and all you can do is keep hoping they’d have sympathy. They dont, they think the issue is humourous and your pleas fall on deaf ears. Then let’s say you do get the law passed regardless, after years and years of complaining. As a result the lines go away, yippie! But alas for now the women have an added wait now so the law is cancelled with as little as one complaint of their line be even a little longer, perish the thought! So back to waiting for you fellas :P. Great huh?
Of course maybe the market will take care of it on it’s own. See that’s the other aspect of it. Assuming no law who is gonna make them businesses do this! If they would do it just for customer comfort they would have already. You really can’t boycott anyone either unless you boycott EVERYONE! See places know their competitors also don’t have better bathrooms as there is no business incentives to build more bathrooms, the men’s room line is big everywhere but I bet you guys aren’t going to stop going to all public places just cause of the line to the bathroom so you just kinda gotta live with. It kinda forces you to have to chose between a bathroom wait and never going anywhere. So really without the law there is guranteed to be lines basically forever! Sucks for you huh?
Ok end of rant, typically feministic I know, but I think you see why I’m annoyed don’t you? Or maybe I just amused you. The sad thing is this isn’t bizarro land, though I wish it were! If I had one wish I’d definately wish that world on you guys :P. Fact is the scenario I just described for the men is the reality for women everywhere. But fear not guys, in the end that little gift of nature you’ve got between your legs pretty much ensure you’ll come out a winner in the bathroom parity wars. Even if the laws did pass it would still not be enough. I’ve seen big lines even where women had 6 times as many potties! And there are so many exceptions to the law too. It only applies to new buildings and major renovations and that only happens sometimes every 25-50 years! So even if it were implimented everywhere right away, which it won’t, I’d be an old lady by the time any significant change is seen. We girls never win :(. So congradulations guys, you’ve won, how does it feel :P. Maybe as a runner up prize you could give us at least EQUAL toilets, pretty please fellas :D. Did I win any converts to my cause here, moved any hearts. Nope didn’t think so :P. Thanks for reading but just once more :P.
Sincerely,
Someone who just waited 50 minutes to pee this evening after a 64 once soda and a 2 hour movie full of women and children! Yeah I had a motive for returning to this post :P. I was like the last one out too, 2 stalls ladies room, 2 stalls 3 urinals in men’s room :P.
June 13th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Jill,
I’m glad you found my blog as a place to leave your comments. Color me highly amused.
Curious though, why you never addressed my actual solution: make all bathrooms unisex. Seems to me that would be the fairest, most efficient way of cutting down on bathroom lines.
/ac
June 13th, 2008 at 11:33 am
If they took out the mirror from the ladies room, I guarantee the problem would solve itself.
June 13th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Also, why can’t women use urinals like the scene from the movie, The Full Monty. She was done in like 30 seconds and didn’t even have to sit down!
June 13th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Matt,
Let’s try and be more constructive in our comments.
For example, shame on you for comment #12 without providing a link such as this one:
http://www.biorelief.com/store/Lady-J-Female-Adapter.html
/ac
June 14th, 2008 at 2:00 am
Glad you find my urinary predicament so amusing :P. In answer to your question I’m not sure how comfortable I’d feel about using a unisex bathroom with men around. Plus as men and women would have to wait for the same set of stalls it would just mean even longer lines for everyone, though be nice to have men waiting too at least :P. Urinals might help but most women wouldn’t want to use them due to privacy concerns and lack of knowledge on how to use them. BTW we don’t have long lines for the mirror and not while our bladders are bursting! So in a unisex restroom with urinals you’d have an even worse scenario:men still get to pee quicker while women still have to wait for stalls which they now have to share with men too! See we can’t win! I bet you guys secretly enjoy seeing us waiting in those long lines. Didn’t my little scenario above make you feel sympathy and want to run out and compaign for more women’s toilets?! C’mon just give us more, pretty peelease. Giving us double might be unequal but equal toilets=long waits for us. And we don’t even have equal! I’ll admit I’m jealous of the men’s room turnover rate, there I said it. We take longer and want more as a result. Well guess nothing I can do about it. I just hope tommorrow we’ll wake up in bizarro world and then we’ll see who is laughing and amused! Yeah I know it won’t happen so enjoy the short wait fellas, we’ll keep amusing you. Once more :P.
June 14th, 2008 at 4:27 am
Oh yeah one more thing what WOULD you do if tomorrow you DID wake up to find yourself in the bizarro world I described?! Bet you’d be squirming and whimpering ha ha! Well fellas WHAT IF? I’m curious to know, seriously, what would you do about it? I can tell you one thing if that did happen I’d be having a real ball, you’d never hear the end of it here, ha ha :). Yes I’m a bit obessed I know, I think about this scenario everytime I get stuck waiting in line, helps pass the hours I spend waiting :P. Well like I said a girl can dream…….*
*Perfect world would turn this hell
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-msa68bd1A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3jtRdVhsos
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiK8HVttNHI&feature=related
INTO this heaven!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLmf8XGex8E
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yg-jOtHPkXc
And just in case those other videos weren’t enough- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRp9Tv8Rk_k
So anyone warming up to my cause for more potties? C’mon guys have a heart, what’s it gonna take lol.
June 25th, 2008 at 10:38 am
More dangers of women’s bathroom lines:
OKALOOSA ISLAND - Women were standing in line for the bathroom at The Swamp when one of them grabbed another by the hair, swung her to the ground and pummeled her, an investigator said.
The 27-year-old Crestview woman is charged with misdemeanor battery.
Witnesses said she banged another woman’s head into the ground. The victim suffered a small earlobe laceration.
I guess it’s another case of bathroom line rage!
August 19th, 2008 at 8:11 am
There should be a law against toilets, that would solve the problem altogether. Pee wherever the need arises, do ‘the other’ at home in private.
August 19th, 2008 at 9:24 am
Haven’t posted here in awhile, hope you haven’t missed me and my tiny bladder too much :P. I can understand the bathroom line rage. Guys not having to wait wouldn’t. Sometimes I think that’s why your given no lines, you’d never wait patiently like a lady with all that testosterone in your bloodstream :D. Women are very territorial on those lines, they should make a nature documentary about it. You haven’t seen aggression until you’ve seen women in line for the toilet. There is no line cutting, no back cutting, no holding spots even if your pregnant. Ever see that episode of Seinfeld, as Elaine says it’s battlefield conditions in there! If you try to cut in line be ready for an earfull. Was at the play Urinetown once, big ladies room line 25 long, only 3 or 4 for the guys :P. Girl tried to just peek into the ladies room and the woman at front was like um you have to wait in line. Gave her the walk of shame where you meekly proceed to take your place way in back of those in front of the line. Funny even though the women had 6 toilets and the men one they had no line and ours was 8 times as long! We really need potty parity now!
This has happened to me before. Ok here’s a nightmare scenario no guy has probably ever experienced. Once I was going on a long bus trip, a good 3-4 hour one. During the course of the trip we got only one bathroom break about 2 hours in. By then I was eager for my potty break but to everyone’s horror, espicially mine, all the ladies rooms were closed! So all the guys got to get in a quick piss and then all the women dissappointed went back to the bus frowning. Most of us got drinks at the place too. So by the time we got there it had been close to 4 hours since any of the women had peed and lemme tell you it was a tense trip. The guys were actually chatting away while most of the women were just sitting still many with crossed legs. I’ll tell you I was pretty much leaping out of the seat by the time the bus stopped. To make a bad situation worse there were 2 buses. The first bus got let out before ours so all those women were already sprinting to the restroom. The bus driver on our bus was of course more “orderly” and had us get out one row at a time, the other side of the bus of course getting out first :(.
So finally my row got let out and I was in the back of the bus too. By the time I get there I’m like 60th in line for the toilet and had my legs twisted like a pretzel. I saw my family maybe 20 or 30 ahead of me, somehow they’d managed to beat alot of the crowd. I tried to squeeze in line discreetly between them and like a few seconds later a woman tapped me on the shoulder and was like what do you think your doing? There’s a line dear. I was trying to explain my family was holding my place and she was like “I didn’t see you there” but I was saying no I was they were just holding my place. She was not fooled. Nice try she said and pointed me to the back of the line. I could feel everyone staring me down she I hobbled to the back on the line, “the walk of shame” for me. Worst thing was, aside from all the guys having no line again and getting to pee a SECOND time before I got to go once, is I had to wait for all those women to pee as well. So you have to stand there with your legs crossed and see all those women who know your a line cutter get to go before you. I remember getting alot of looks from the women in line as they passed me. The woman at the front 30 ahead of me when she came out gave me a look with a huge smirk almost saying ha ha serves you right for trying to cut. Then she stood there waiting for other women and I definately think she was laughing at me. Couldn’t here what she was saying but her and a bunch of other women were looking over at me smirking and giggling! Believe me being a line cutter is not forgotten easily, makes you a social pariah :P. A good 30 minutes or more like that will teach you that lesson! Been other times too where I stepped out of line for a minute or two and was forced to the back. The ladies room is a jungle! Survival of the fittest, remember that next time you see us waiting ;).
BTW I noticed no one has responded to my bizarro world comment. I’m wondering what would you guys do if it was YOU waiting all the time while us girls zoomed in and out, scary to consider huh?! :P
August 20th, 2008 at 7:51 am
I say they should just ban toilets :|
September 7th, 2008 at 8:18 am
Ok.. I have a few problems with this… 1: As it sits NOW, where I live, a girl can use the guys can IF there’s no line in the guys… But.. If there’s a girl in there and a guy has to go? He has to WAIT for the garrulous girls do whatever it is they do in the can… If the guys has a line and the girls don’t? Can we use the girls to go? Not a chance, mate… How is this fair? How is it equal rights? Piss off… You want parity? Gotta GIVE to GET…
Vote NO to potty parity!!!