SARS
One of the alternative weekly rags in Ft. Collins is the Fort Collins Weekly. I typically don’t agree with any of the viewpoints, but for some odd reason, I keep reading it. Imagine my surprise when I read Greg Campbell’s Notebook regarding pickled eggs and Jagermeister. That was us he was writing about! In response, I drafted the following letter to the editor:
To the editor:
I feel I must add some context to the scene Greg observed at the
Town Pump regarding a pickled egg and Jagermeister (I must assume
it was our group as I can think of no other others equally
depraved).This drink, known colloquially as the SARS or Eggermeister, was
invented at the Trailhead in a fit of inebriated brilliance, when
we noticed on the “daily specials” chalkboard the gastronomically
dissonant combination of “Pickled Eggs: $0.50 Jagermeister shots:
$2″. Undoubtedly, the chalkboard author never intended their
mixing, kinda like Britney and Kevin Federline (which represents
whom, you decide). However, genius has been defined as 1%
inspiration, 99% perspiration, and I must salute my
stout-hearted, iron-stomached comrade who first choked down this
potent potable and truly incubated the SARS.Incidentally, the average age of the group that hatched the
Eggermeister was approximately 25, with a standard deviation of
two years, and we know our way around the sundry bars of Ft.
Collins a bit better than our wallets prefer. Never has anyone
begged to black out, one reason being that we’ve long since laid
our drinking goggles to rest and no longer need to forget the
shame of unholy hookups during nights previous, but mostly
because we’re not dumbasses (beverage choices notwithstanding).Finally, for those readers beyond the SARS, I offer the Big Five,
consisting one each of: Town Pump ale, Bloody Mary, toxic orange,
jello shot, and atomic cherries. Of course, SARS may be
substituted for any of the above.Bottoms up,
Alex Chiang
I got a response from Greg thanking me for the “good letter”, but no phone call, so I guess they’re not going to print it. Oh well.
- Posted by alex at 09:27 am
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Crotch-grabblinly funny!!
Nice write-up Chang. Hopefully, Greg’s article just put the SARS airborne. Then there’s no hope for a cure. Before you know it there will be guys leaving their cubicles, loosening up their neckties and sliding onto barstools for an ice cold SARS before they return home to face the wife and kids.