alex chiang: web 6.0

For those of you who have never heard of Maddox, you are missing out. He has the “best page in the universe” and regularly writes scathing screeds full of vulgarity, misogyny, and hilarity. After reading an older article of his about sponsoring a vegetarian, I’ve come up with a refinement to his theory. Here is the text of the email I sent him; we’ll see if he respond:

Maddox,

Congratulations, you do indeed have the best page in the universe. Better you than me, because I don’t think I could handle having such an awesome life.

I was recently perusing your brilliantly evil plan to eliminate the stupidity known as “vegetarianism” by sponsoring said vegetarians, and was similarly disturbed that it creates a minor inconsistency in your world view by violating your being lazy rule (to avoid turning into a fat fuck).

I think I’ve come up with a better solution, and humbly submit it to your genius mind for comment, namely:

you still purchase 3 portions of meat, but instead of eating it all, you simply throw out whatever you can’t finish

This adds to the spite factor, in that not only are more animals dying because the vegetarian refuses to eat meat, but their deaths are extra pointless, because no one is even eating them. Additionally, the sponsor does not get fat AND doesn’t have to work out either.

Extra spite, less work. What do you think?

regards,

/ac