"Vegas Vignettes" I. Full Disclosure ------------------ What are the ethics about informing your climbing partner that you are about to do something completely dangerous? One school of thought equates ignorance with bliss, the theory being that if everything turns out ok in the end, it doesn't really matter what transpired in the middle. No blood, no foul, and what they don't know won't hurt them (or cause them to want to kick your ass). On the other hand, if you are trying to develop a partnership that lasts longer than a single route, it behooves you to develop an atmosphere of openness and trust. The more data points you have to form an opinion about the person to whom you are entrusting your life (of which you only have one), the better. Full disclosure is the only way to go. I don't have time to explore either of these philosophies because Eric is about to run out of rope while four pitches up on Black Orpheus, 160 feet out from his last (first, and only) piece. I've been waiting for this moment for a while now, and have prepared by removing half the pieces from my two-piece anchor. As the last of the rope pays out, I unclip from the lone bolt belay and start simulclimbing, hoping that he can find a belay spot before I reach the blue TCU some forty feet above my head. The climbing here is easy, but a fall would have rather serious consequences. That's what I think to myself as I clean the TCU. Luckily, at the belay, Eric understands and doesn't kick my ass. II. Tragedy Strikes ------------------- Cara is in the hospital. Eric and I learn this as we stagger to the car some nine hours later. She's injured, but fundamentally ok. A hold broke off in her hand while leading Guise and Gals, and she fell pretty far due to a large amount of slack in the system. She got tangled in the rope and flipped upside down, smacking her helmeted head. Her ankle is twisted pretty badly, and her weeklong climbing trip is no more, cut off at the second day. Refusing to buy crutches from the hospital, the ecology major instead steals a beautifully gnarled pinyon branch from a National Conservation Area and gamely gimps about camp using a two-handed technique. We are sympathetic to her cause, but we still get bellyaches from laughing at the sight. III. Gems From the Red Book --------------------------- I'm at a hanging belay on Pink Tornado, clipped into quarter-inch bolts. There's an odd looking plate under one of the bolts that says "7-15-1976 STATION". My birthday was yesterday. I'm on my 24th lap around the sun, having started on December 30th, 1978. I slam in a Friend for backup. Climbing with Larry means you never have to wait in line for a route. IV. There's More to Trad Climbing Than Climbing ----------------------------------------------- Rachel asks me what pitch I want to climb. I've been studying the SuperTopo for a few minutes now and without the slightest hesitation, I say I want the second one. We're roped up at the bottom of Varnishing Point, and before she heads up, I ask her if she wants to take a quick glance at the topo so she knows where to go. Too late, she realizes that the first pitch is only 5.6, and makes a few complaining noises, saying that she thought both pitches were 5.8. This is the sort of thing that happens when two somewhat selfish lead hogs climb together. I laugh in her face. She's been a climbing bum for over 6 months now, living out of her truck in Yosemite, scarfing tourists' food, and climbing way more than me, but there's still a thing or two I can learn her. He who controls the topo controls the route. V. Nineteen Percent Climbing ---------------------------- We're back near Mescalito, which means we're nowhere near Juniper Canyon. Eric, Steven, and I have made the mistake of assuming that Arie, the fastest hiker, had a clue as to where he was going. Instead of tracing our steps back, we enjoy the challenge of bushwhacking along the cliffline opposite the Brass Wall. Eventually, Arie and I part ways with Eric and Steven near the base of Geronimo, and we continue to the base of Black Dagger. We take a breakfast break after carefully making our way up the scary slippery slabs coated over with 3 inches of ice. I observe the sun edge toward Black Dagger for a few minutes and then inch away again. Hands numb, I convince Arie that climbing in the sun would be much more enjoyable. After a total of five hours of hiking, we're standing at the base of Olive Oil. Roped up and ready to go, Arie leads off at 11:30. We exchange gear at the top of pitch three, and I'm hauling ass. I catch up to the party ahead at the traverse pitch and with a wild gleam in my eye, ask if we can climb through. Frightened, they acquiesce. At 12:45, we're unroped at the top of the Rose Tower. Another hour for the descent, along with some more random hitching and hiking, and we're back at the campsite by 14:30. Hiking to climbing ratio today was 6.5 hrs / 1.25 hrs. VI. I'm a Big Jerk (and wildly hilarious too) --------------------------------------------- It's been a good night at the casino. Now $200 richer, I jokingly tell Cara that I'll treat her to Taco Bell for dinner. After the shouts of "cheap bastard" die down, I inform her that I'll treat her anywhere she wants, except for the Cheesecake Factory. A bit of backstory here: a few months ago, Cara called me while I was on my way to the Cheesecake Factory with a friend of mine who happened to be of the female persuasion. Needless to say, jealousy reared its ugly head, even though I was no longer within Cara's jealousy jurisdiction, being that we were not dating anymore. A few months later, Cara came to visit me in Dallas and immediately demanded to eat at the Cheesecake Factory. And because I am a jerk who likes to tease her, I refused, stating that not every girl gets to eat at the Cheesecake Factory. Somehow, the humor did not go over well with her. Anyhow, the nagging continues, and she claims that the only thing in the entire world that she wants is to eat at the Cheesecake Factory and that nothing else will please her. The incessant mewling is more than I can take and I'm almost ready to give in until an evil stroke of genius strikes. "Ok -- we can eat at the Cheesecake Factory." "YES!!! FINALLY!!!!" "But -- I'm not going to treat you. Or, we can go ANYWHERE else you want and everything's on me." "Wahh!! That's not fair!!" Pitting her mysterious sense of female grievance against her poor grad student fiscal policy is a mastermind manuver that I am extremely proud of. In the end, she sells out and I buy her dinner at Bilbo's. Chalk one up for the male species. VII. Always an Adventure ------------------------ Last day of climbing, and I'm looking forward to a relaxed day. Today, we're a big group assaulting Mescalito. Eric, Karen, Arie, and Nate are climbing Cat in the Hat. Poor Jeff has been suckered into climbing with me and our plan is to ascend Cookie Monster and meet up with the other four at the top of CitH. Forty-five minutes after we split up, I'm wheezing and groaning my way up a slick back to knee chimney. This is the most strenuous 5.7 I've ever climbed, and I wonder what happened to the nice relaxed day I thought I was going to have. We're both pulling off loose rock everywhere, and my already trail-trashed knees are now getting a nice external beating as well. So much for taking it easy. On the other hand, I've never found this much booty on one climb before. A largish nut, a big perlon-slung hex, an biner with another nine nuts on it, and a small wired hex are my catch for the day. Perhaps I'm getting repaid for the brand new 2.5 Friend that I lost on Black Orpheus. Anyhow, Jeff and I join up with the other four at the top of CitH. We set up a single rope and simul-rap down. About 20 feet above where we want to be, the rope runs out. Oops. No problem -- luckily I'm carrying a second rope on my back, so it's a simple matter to attach a few prussiks for backup, and proceed to tie the two ropes together while standing on a narrow downward sloping ledge. Jeff takes it in stride and we both work on pulling the rope through the anchors while everyone else up top wonders what the hell is going on. Soon enough, we're all safely back on the ground, and my climbing for the trip is done. VIII. Closing Credits --------------------- Dates: December 27, 2002 --- January 5, 2003 Routes: * Johnny Vegas, 5.7, 4 pitches * Black Orpheus, 5.9, 10 pitches * Pink Tornado, 5.9, 6 pitches * Topless Twins, 5.9, 1 pitch * Varnishing Point, 5.8, 2 pitches * Olive Oil, 5.7, 7 pitches * Cookie Monster, 5.7, 5 pitches Partners: * Cara Ferrier * Eric Brown * Larry DeAngelo * Rachel Arst * Arie Spitz * Jeff Long Thanks guys!