killing me suckily

Killing Me Softly — what a truly awful movie. I was intrigued at first because there was some mountaineering and good sex scenes where you get to see Heather Graham’s boobies, but the initial excitement soon turned into “what the fuck is going on” at first, and “this is bollocks” later.

Here’s the plot with spoilers so you can save an hour and 29 minutes* of your life: Hot chick meets quiet intense mountain climber guy and ditches previous boyfriend. After three days of crazy animal sex that occasionally involves bondage, they get married, whereupon hot chick starts getting mysterious letters about hubbie’s past implying that he may be a murderer or rapist. Hot dumb overacting chick starts investigating and the movie ends when it turns out that hubbie’s SISTER is jealous of hot chick stealing hubbie/brother away. Yes — entire plotline is driven by INCEST. Whee. Big fight scene ensues where sister is about to kill hubbie/brother for “leaving her” and hot chick kills crazy incestual sister by shooting a flare gun into her chest. Apparently this is too much for hot chick to handle, so they break up and the movie is over. The end.

*The unrated version of the movie is actually listed at one hour and 40 minutes, but I figure it took you about 1 minute to read that above quickie review. You will want to spend the other 10 minutes watching the sex scenes, which are pretty good.

The UK Critic has a good review with a classic line regarding the 20,000 ft. analogy Fiennes makes during the film.